Don's Taekwondo Dream

Flow: What is it?

Thursday 31st May 2007

I keep on going on about flow, so thought it might be useful to give an outline and an understanding of what it is I am talking about.

The following is taken courtesy of Wikipedia:

In his seminal work, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, Csikszentmihalyi outlines his theory that people are most happy when they are in a state of flow—a Zen-like[citation needed] state of total oneness with the activity at hand and the situation. The idea of flow is identical to the feeling of being in the zone or in the groove. The flow state is an optimal state of intrinsic motivation, where the person is fully immersed in what he or she is doing. This is a feeling everyone has at times, characterized by a feeling of great freedom, enjoyment, fulfillment, and skill—and during which temporal concerns (time, food, ego-self, etc.) are typically ignored.

In an interview with Wired magazine, Csikszentmihalyi described flow as "being completely involved in an activity for its own sake. The ego falls away. Time flies. Every action, movement, and thought follows inevitably from the previous one, like playing jazz. Your whole being is involved, and you're using your skills to the utmost."

To achieve a flow state, a balance must be struck between the challenge of the task and the skill of the performer. If the task is too easy or too difficult, flow cannot occur.

The flow state also implies a kind of focused attention, and indeed, it has been noted that mindfulness meditation, yoga, and martial arts seem to improve a person's capacity for flow. Among other benefits, all of these activities train and improve attention.

In short, flow could be described as a state where attention, motivation, and the situation meet, resulting in a kind of productive harmony or feedback.

About Mihaly and "Flow"

Buy the book from Amazon.

Reaching Within

Thursday 31st May 2007

To be honest, last week Monday I don’t think I even thought about relaxing and letting the moment take me. Having had time now to reflect on it, I know I should have spent more time making sure I was approaching my match with the correct mental game. The last two months, my training and mental preparation has been about enjoying myself and learning how to love what I do above the need to win. To free myself in competition from the chains of “having to take a medal” and just perform at my best by what comes naturally without pressure.

Unfortunately I was far too concerned about going out to fight and prove that I could win despite my circumstances. In fact I remember thinking somewhere along the line how fantastic it would be to go out and win, “what a story that would be!” No, wanting to win is not a bad thing, but I think I desired it almost too much and that clouded the approach I had been preparing myself for! Perhaps being in hospital for those four days was not the most ideal preparation, but I cannot make excuses. At the end of the day, it was still my choice to continue to fight in hospital and thus onto the mat.

I am now in a bit of a catch 22 situation. After this last performance, Master Cho has already expressed the need for me to vastly improve in my next competition to still be considered for Olympic selections in September. Officially there is only one big competition before then. The All Africa Games in Algeria which runs for two weeks in July. There are however a few smaller events before then that I want to compete in. The goal would be to try and recreate the conditions I need to compete at my best. To be relaxed, confident and free of the “need” to win and perform well, so I may just “be!” As much as I really need to perform well at these smaller events, so I can tape and show the results to Master Cho and the Olympic selectors, I also need to walk onto the competition mat, fight and just BE.

I understand and acknowledge what I need to be doing, thinking and feeling for this to happen but am not yet complete with the idea. I have work to do. I do feel that the Landmark process will be able to help. I just need to do the work and be honest with my self. I am currently doing the Landmark in action series and in June, weekend of the 8th, 9th and10th, will be doing the advanced course. Its good timing for me and will help in my becoming complete with taekwondo and the balance between being free on the mat to perform from within and between performing to win. I look forward to it!

Muhammad Ali:
“Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even.”

It's all about the "Flow!"

Tuesday 22nd / 29th May 2007

I finally got to speak to Master Cho this morning before we all left the hotel in Beijing. It was a constructive talk and I left feeling much better about not having been able to speak to him earlier. We talked about my fight in particular. He said he was very disappointed with my fight. That I fought like a wild man, that I was not in control of the fight and was not thinking clearly. He seemed to think it was as if I had gone back several years in terms of my performance. The way I was punching the guy when in a clinch, he said I was being rude on the mat and that with a performance like this I would seriously need to work hard to change it.

I have to admit, as much as I don’t like it, in hind sight, I did fight like a wild man, I was not composed and yes I was rude! As he was talking to me a started to realise a few of the reasons why I had performed they way I did. I saw the fight I had been having in the hospital, and saw how I had continued to take that fight onto the mat! And this really is where my biggest mistake was. In hospital, I had been constantly struggling with the internal battle of making sure I would get out in time for my match and make it on my fight day. As composed as I was in hospital, and as much as I seemed to accept that I was there and not to fight against the system openly, deep down I was in a state of “fight”, promising myself that I would be there on my fight day “no matter what!” I even remember saying to people that I had actually decided I had an advantage over every one else because I had already been fighting for the last four days and was simply going to continue and take that fighting spirit out onto the mat! I did take that same fight out onto the mat… and I lost!

WHY? On the plane home back to London I was watching Eurosport, and tennis star Serena Williams was saying how much she was looking forward to the French open, that she thought it was going to be fun! How many times have I talked about “the flow”? Isn’t it a state of “Completeness” attained when one is totally engrossed in what they are enjoying, even if it seems hard at the time?

Once again I put immense pressure on myself to perform, to go out and fight and win. I forgot all about going out to fight and enjoy my match.

Buddah:
"Your work is to discover your work and then with all your heart to give yourself to it."

Results Male Heavy +84kg Beijing World Champs

Monday 21st May 2007

The results for the male heavy weight are as follows:
1. Daba Modibo - Mali
2. Morteza Rostami - Iran
3. Zrouri Abdelkader - Morocco
4. Nam Yun-bae - Korea

K.O - Donald Ravenscroft

Yep, I lost my first fight to Puerto Rico. The score went 1-0 to him, 1-1, 1-0 to him and then I turned directly into his left foot. It is the first time I have been knocked out in a competition and I did it in spectacular form! I went down hard and didn't get up till 30 seconds later. Honestly, I dont even remember walking off the mat. By the time I came to the Referee had declared the match and the next fighters were  waiting to come on.

I was very bitter and dissapointed for the 1st half of the day. I didnt perform like I felt I should have, and seemed to lack a connection between mind and body. I was doing well points wise till I was KO'd but still felt I wasnt up to scratch. By the end of the day I felt alot better about things. I spoke to quite a few people, the dutch guys in particular, and they were quite good at assuring me that getting KO'd happens, its just one of those unlucky things.

The guy from Mali who won tonight, was in spectacular form! Its really great that an African can now claim thrown to the World Champion crown. He is a massive guy, six foot six, 115 - 120 kg, but moved and kicked very well for such a big guy. The other comepetitors battled with his tremendous height and his deadly left leg. Hats off to him! Well done.

For me.... tomorrow I plan to speak to the British and French coach and arrange some training for the months of June and August. Then I can rest a few days and start training again 1st June.

Sebastian Coe, 2-time winner of Olympics:
[after losing the 800m final in 1980] "To anyone who has started out on a long campaign believing that the gold medal was destined for him, the feeling when, all of a sudden, the medal has gone somewhere else is quite indescribable."

Free! Free to go and kick some ass!

Sunday 20th May 2007

This morning the Doc walked in with a smile on her face, and I knew I was going to be getting out. "Za dump tests is zero, yu ken go hom!"

I packed my bags so fast and was ready to leave within ten minutes, unfortunately i had to wait for clearance from the taekwondo organising committee for clearance before I could actually leave. Hell I was going to be going home to my hotel, what did I care waiting another two hours or so.

The Doc kindly walked me out and helped me find a taxi to take me to Changping Stadium for weighin. At 2pm I went down to stand on the scale, got checked in and "wallah!!" I am all set for my fights tomorrow! My first is against Puerto Rico, my second against Angola or Afganistan, my third possibly Brazil and in the quaters possibly against Greece!.

I had another great training session in the hospital room last night, this time the nurses actually came to ask me if I wanted to train, so I am feeling good and ready! I have been fighting a battle the last three days already, so I am just going to continue that on the mat tomorrow! Hold thumbs and keep posted for the results!

Mark Spitz, American swimmer, 1972 Summer Olympics
[On winning seven gold medals] "I swam my brains out!"

Realizations, Choices, Possibilities

Saturday 19th May 2007

So I have had two almost three days to fight with myself and here are the fights, some of the realizations and some of the completions or possibilities I have come to and created!

Notice how the last paragraph in my last posting, how I was blaming everyone else around me and not taking responsibility for me. The only time I did, was when I expressed “my fear” of not being able to compete! I have seen this battle in my self the last two days, but I think this morning is the first I understand it for what it is.

I accepted two days ago already that “they” are not against me, the doctors, nurses, officials are simply doing their job and what they think is in the best interest for the rest of the athletes’ health and safety and my own health and safety! I may not like it very much but honestly, I accept and acknowledge the situation I am in.

I keep wanting to play the victim! Why? Why? Why? Why again before a major event does something like this happen? Why did I get injured just before Sydney Olympics? Why did I contract malaria just before Athens Olympic qualifications? Why do I now have to contact food poisoning and dysentery that puts me in hospital for three days right before I need to fight? What is there in the universe or in my psyche that is trying to stop me and manifesting itself every time before something of great importance to me? Why do I train so hard, commit so much, spend so much money and time only to have it taken away?

My whole life I have always told myself that I am strong, that I am a hero, and give me any obstacle I will overcome it and prevail. I have always accepted doing things the hard way, “because that’s the way life is!” And to show everyone what a hero I am, to show them how strong I am, and to have them feel sorry for me, I have these incredible obstacles thrown in my path that I then have to battle and rage against.

Yes, they are incredible stories of perseverance, determination, focus and strength, and I can use them to touch and inspire thousands of people around me. Perhaps that is my journey in life, to be able to share my experiences with all of you, to touch and move you to the greatness we all have inside of us. We all have the same strength and determination, just in some of us it is dormant and the giant within you needs to be awakened, I promise you… it is there!

My need or desire to be with the team, mingle with the other athletes, enjoy the festivity of the world champs, smile and say hi to old friends, watch the opening ceremony, be recognized by everyone as the Heavyweight from South Africa are all inconsequential to how I will perform on Sunday. They have no effect on what my result will be! Only I have the power to let those factors influence me and I do not give those desires authority! I will prepare myself here in my hospital room! Yesterday I spent time visualizing micro atom bombs in my stomach, nuking every infectious and negative cell, right from my throat to stomach to intestines to... all the way out. I envisioned a nuclear white out of my body, irradicating any type of disease or bacteria that may remain. This morning my test results came back from yesterdays test as being zero count, free from infection! The whole of yesterday afternoon I lay in bed watching the Taekwondo World champs on TV, I watched how they moved, the distances they created and employed, tactics they were using, how the judges were scoring, then watched the semi finals and finals last night. Afterwards, at about 10pm I switched my light off, got changed into my hospital pajamas, put my headphones on and proceeded to train. I had the lights off, so sometimes my eyes were closed, sometimes not, but a danced and moved around the room, stepping, kicking moving around, visualizing myself in the ring with my opponents. That ended abrupty when all of a sudden the lights blazed on and there were two nurses staring goggle eyed at what I was doing. I had been making little screams, I couldn’t here them because of the music blaring in my hears and had been making such a stomping racket, the poor fellow downstairs was complaining of the noise. The doctor reluctantly agreed to move me to a meeting room for an hour where I would not disturb anyone. So for another hour I bounced around and fought everyone in my head. I had a brilliant training session, a good sweat and a stretch. I had a great sleep.

This morning I woke up feeling good, looking forward to my “morning how are you my love and I love you” call from Gaylene. She mentioned a few things that really disturbed me, rocked my boat and left me feeling a little miserable, but subsequently prompted me to get down and write this blog, to express my fears and insecurities so I could deal with them and be done with them by Monday. I made a call to Sophie in NY and left a message for her, then sat down to write this!

I was left this morning, calling into question whether I had been totally selfish my life and my Olympic quest. Had I been selfish in not letting others experience what I had experienced along my way the last 10 years? Was my life all about me? Was that not half the problem in the world, that most of us are all far to concerned with our own lives to want to sit and worry about the rest of the world or somebody else? This is what I was asking myself. Had I missed a huge part of my life because I had decided to do things the hard way, to place obstacles in my path to make it a greater challenge, showing to everyone what a hero I was? What had I failed to experience in my life because I had been unwilling to let anything else into my life except the goal of Olympics? Had I missed opportunities and possibilities because I had chosen to isolate my self from everyone else in my life because I felt that “they” had no idea of the type of dedication and commitment needed to do what I the “hero” was doing?

First off, let me say, I have no idea whether you have any idea what it takes to get where I am! Quite honestly I’ve realized I don’t care and it doesn’t matter! I am what I am and you are what you are. I have realized right now I don’t need to be the hero in anybodies eyes. That you have strengths as I do and you have weaknesses as I do. It is not important.

Have I been selfish the last ten years, missed experiences, opportunities, parts of my life? I would have to say yes! But they have all been choices I have made. I have lived an extraordinary life! I could die tomorrow knowing that I have lived life with passion and commitment. That as much as I have failed in many challenges, they have not made me any less of a person; in fact those failures have enriched me. I love the life I have lived this far and would do not care to change a single thing. Yes I have made sacrifices, missed experiences but in turn I have had so many other wonderful experiences!

One thing I know I can make a difference to is the sharing I give and am willing to receive. In the past I have guarded my secrets, my successes and failures and made them my own. I choose to make a difference in this world. I choose to be able to give, lift, touch and inspire people to awaken their giants within! To inspire as many people on this world to realize the extraordinary potential that each of us has to be powerful, and to embrace what it means to be human, with love, respect and integrity!

So I create the possibility of sharing with everyone in my life and making a difference in the world. To do that I need to be open and honest with my feelings, my hopes and my fears. To be truthful and authentic with myself and with you at all times!

I will be out this hospital tomorrow morning, It is not a question, I will be! I will be in time for my weigh in tomorrow afternoon at 3pm. And on Monday the 21st May, I will walk out onto the mat and destroy every opponent before the match even starts and win I lose I will have succeeded in myself and hopefully in touching you just a little bit!

Tien T'ai
"Given enough time, any man may master the physical. With enough knowledge, any man may become wise. It is the true warrior who can master both....and surpass the result."

Hospital Welcome to Beijing!

Saturday 19th May 2007

What I welcome to Beijing. On Wednesday the 16th I grabbed a quick bite to eat at the fantastic new Bangkok Int., (prawn phad thai, though admittedly in hind sight it was a little dodgy,) and then jumped onto the 13h00 Egypt air flight to Beijing. Honestly I don’t know how the airline makes any money; the plane had maybe 2 people per row of 7 seats!

About an hour and a half into the flight lunch was served and an hour later I felt something was not right, my stomach was upset and cramping a little and I was feeling a little nauseous. I proceeded straight to the toilet and stuck my finger down my throat. It felt drastic at the time but I thought if I had eaten something bad then rather get it out of my system than let it get worse. By the time I arrived in Beijing at 19h00 I was in bad shape, I had vomited several times and had serious diorrea and a fever. I kind of stumbled out the plane and by the time I was heading past immigration down the escalators to the baggage claim I was looking for a toilet or bin! “It” was coming up and there was no salvation in sight. By the time I got to the bottom of the escalator stepsI had marked by way sufficiently for everyone to see!

Once through I finally found the Taekwondo welcome desk and they took me straight to the airport clinic. At that time I was quite prepared for them to have my stomach pumped. At about 9pm the ambulance arrived and took me to one of the designated hospitals in Beijing. At 02h00 after several urine, stool, ultrasound and blood tests, they came back to say I had dysentery diorrea and needed to be isolated. I would not be able to join the team or the rest of the athletes at the hotel or competition till I had a clear prognosis in two to three days!! By this time I was feeling better already, the fever was gone and I was no longer feeling nauseous at all, admittedly what ever I drank, was passed! Ahgem! Enough said!

THIS is when I felt things really starting to rage out of control!! Damnit man, I didn’t come to China to only to be stuck in a bloody hospital bed for three days, and NOBODY was going to force that on me!

   After much arguing with the doctors, or should I call it persuasive persuasion I convinced the doctors to at least let me go back to the hotel so I could register for the competition and drop my bags off, I would then willingly return back to the hospital. My actual plan was to make a run for it once at the hotel and hide in my hotel room till things blew off. HA HA!

I arrived at the hotel only to find a government health inspector, an organizing committee member and two doctors waiting for me! I wasn’t going to escape this one! I managed to find the whole team eventually and was able to organize my ID and registration card. The Doctors were however adamant they were not prepared to take the risk of me infecting the other athletes and were determined to have me isolated, (much to my frustration!). I was thus promptly escorted back to hospital. That said, Beijing Ditan Hospital is supposed to be the best and the room I have now is very nice, TV, bed couch, and the last two days the medical care has been excellent, I cannot complain about that.

Once back at the hospital I was met by a team of three doctors and three nurses, who all smiled at me with their eyes over their face masks and just nodded their heads at each other. “YES they were not going to let this one die!” SOoOo I was informed that I would be in hospital at least three days until I could pass three stool tests with a zero infection count. I had experience from the previous hospital this little stool test! In reality, it consisted of trying to aim my …. Ummm… ya… aim into a tiny, thimble sized cup! Most of the time I missed, I am slowly mastering the necessary skill!

I have had such an inner battle trying to contain myself and my frustrations here in hospital the last two days! I have been raging against the doctors, the Chinese law that says I have to be here, against everyone trying to tell me what to do, against not being allowed to be with my team mates, being forced to miss the opening ceremony Thursday night and the first day of competition yesterday Saturday, against not being able to be with the other athletes, for holding me back from doing what I came here to do, from not being able to sit and do all the correct and necessary preparation I need so that on Monday the 21st I can compete at my optimum, and against the rising fears that the doctors say I will only get out Monday maybe Sunday which would mean missing the World Champs completely! That is still my biggest fear, that ultimately I will miss the champs completely held against my will. (As I type that I get a rising fear and tightness in my chest and throat!) I CAN NOT let that happen!!

Thomas Mann 

"Act like a man of thought - Think like a man of action"

Leaving for Beijing!

Tuesday 15th May 2007

This morning was our last training session before heading to the airport and off to China tommorrow midday. After training, a photo session with the team, goodbyes, a shower and breakfast with Chai, i spent the rest of the day making sure I had everything I needed, food, clean clothes, tape etc. I also treated myself to a Yo Sushi style all you can eat in one hour sushi lunch for 256.00 baht, 3.50 pounds or 49.00 rands! My most expensive meal this trip! Following that I had a three hour massage, 2 hour traditional and one hour oil and feel goooooood!

I have to be at the new Bangkok Int by 11am, fly out at 1.30pm and land in Beijing at 6.30pm. I will meet the S.A team at the hotel.

Well here are a few photos from the last few days, I'll be back in touch once in China. Enjoy the pics!

(What a spread! Had a great Sunday evening with Tee and one of his friends on the national volleyball team)

(Could it be true? A lot of the time it feels like it!)

(A really cool bronze! Fighting spirit)

(The Thai welter weight, Dam, as in van Dam I guess. He was Muay Thai kickboxer turned taekwondo fighter)

(Thai National and Olympic Taekwondo training centre)

(Chai and I at breakfast this morning)

My Team!

Monday 14th May 2007

I've had a very good 9 days here in Bangkok and feel it has been great preparation for me. The little niggles that started when I arrived, right knee, has cleared up and I am feeling focused for the upcoming fights.

I always enjoy the training with the Thai team! They are such happy people and always have a smile on their faces through training and when done! It makes such a difference to be able to train in a team environment again. The energy and spirit is always so uplifting, I train harder, I smile more, I enjoy taekwondo more, everyone else is focused on the same goal as me, they shout and encourage me and I shout for them when they get tired. We bounce energy, enthusiasm, grit, strength and determination off each other.

It made me realise the other day the importance of having a strong, supportive, collective team around you when striving for greatness. Gaylene, my close friends, my parents, my brothers, Gaylene's parents and brothers, all my old clients and friends that I still keep in touch with and who send me emails of encouragement and support, new and old coaches.... They are ALL apart of MY TEAM! They love me, support me, give me encouragement, provide focus, provide shoulders to lean on, sometimes carry me and sometimes just help lead the way. I have realised I am not a one man band! Just as in any successful business or relationship, the person at the top will always be able to look back and see the people along the way who have helped, lifted, inspired, provided motivation. The most successful will continue to build a strong and successful team around them!

So thank you to my Team!! I appreciate all your love and support!

(The captain of my team.. it's also just an excuse to get a picture of G in!)

Hopi Saying:
"One finger cannot lift a pebble."

2007 BEIJING WTF WORLD TAEKWONDO CHAMPIOSHIPS

Saturday 12th May 2007

Training is going very well. I decided to sit out and rest yesterday, had a massage and stretched. This morning I had a great session. We sparred from 7am till 8, and although felt a little sluggish from the hard massage yesterday, the following two hours from 8 to 9.30 (OK hour and a half) felt very good. We had the rest of the day off and train tomorrow Sunday at 4pm.

TV Broadcast from the World Taekwondo Championships in Beijing can be viewed on Eurovision according to the following schedule: I will be fighting on the 21st May.

Day #1: May 18th 2007 - 0955-1230

Semi-Finals & Finals Male: 6 7 kg / * Female: 4 7 kg & 5 5 kg
Day #2: May 19th 2007 - 0955-1230

Semi-Finals & Finals Male: 54 kg & 7 2 kg / * Female: 59kg
Day #3: May 20th 2007 - 0955-1230

Semi-Finals & Finals Male: 58 kg & 7 8 kg / * Female: 51 & 72 kg
Day #4: May 21st 2007 - 0955-1230

Semi-Finals & Finals Male: 62 kg & + 84 kg / * Female: 63 kg
Day #5: May 22nd 2007 - 0755-0930

Semi-Finals & Finals Male: 84 kg / * Female: 67 kg & + 72 kg

For a full schedule over the five days click here:2007 BEIJING WTF WORLD TAEKWONDO CHAMPIONSHIPS

Vince Lombardi

"The real glory is being knocked to your knees and then coming back. That's real glory. That's the essence of it.”